The Rector writes...
Violence between children and young people
There is a growing body of evidence which points to the fact that we are storing up trouble for children by being over-protective and not giving them the freedom to explore dangerous situations and practice those skills which prevent them getting hurt. Present legislation gives children, from a very early age, the impression that they have the right to be as careless, unsociable, and obnoxious as they like to all and sundry, and the nanny state will rush in to support their excesses and punish any one who has reacted to their provocation. Or not protected them from their stupidity.
In the past, under the less anxious gaze of their parents, children normally roughed it from an early age and, as a consequence, they became much more wary and alert to possible dangers to themselves from activities and contacts with other people. Small boys learnt how to climb dangerous structures, and not to tangle with bigger boys: sensing as they grew, how to finely judge situations, how to avoid confrontation, and how to defuse or escape dangerous situations by skilful and swift-footed action.
Today’s over-protected youngsters do not learn these skills. Cosseted every day , they come to assume that there is nothing ‘out there’ that can hurt them and that no one can touch them. Having never been ‘hurt’ themselves they develop no concept of the sufferings of others, no empathy which can act to temper their own violence. A good illustration of this is ‘bad mouthing others’. One often stands amazed at the terms one child will use towards another, and then complain of being bullied if there is a violent reaction to their abuse. And as complaints of ‘bullying’ are always assumed to be true these days, no one bothers to ask if there had been a degree of provocation. And so the provocateur gets the impression that it is alright to continue.
This ‘loss of experience’ may well be the major cause of their timid flocking together in aimless and noisy groups which often disconcerts innocent bystanders. Perhaps we need to ease up on the ‘protection racket’ and allow children, when they are small , the benefit of coming to terms with life’s harsh reality and limits. Then there might be much less bullying and senseless aggression and a better understanding of life’s responsibilities